The Origins of the Ego
by Tom Baker
Lesson: Chapter 4: The Illusions of the Ego
II.The Ego and False Autonomy
Date: March 15, 2009
I have spent all week talking about the ego in various speaking venues so it is convenient for me to keep on talking about the ego in our Sunday evening Miracles group, even if it is a kind of detour from our discussion of sickness and healing. Without the ego sickness would never occur to us, nor would special love, nor would war or any kind of conflict or poverty or any expression of lack. It is also the Ides of March, a particular apt day to speak of ego things.
The first question people ask about the ego is where it came from. The Course dodges the question in the same way the Buddha dodged questions about the immortality of the soul or even the existence of the soul. It is not so much that the Course is trying to keep a secret but that the Course is a teaching project concerned with changing how we see right now. As it says in the introduction to the Clarification of Terms at the end of the Teachers Manual: "This is not a course in philosophical speculation, nor is it concerned with precise terminology. It is concerned only with Atonement, or the correction of perception." (M. p. 77). For a reflective person like myself this deflection is a little maddening so I subvert it by talking about Edgar Cayce’s description of souls losing their spiritual identity to the forms of the animals they at first playfully occupied then gradually got stuck in. Sort of like the alcoholic getting lost in the bottle or any of us becoming overwhelmed with the details of a problem, the vision of the forest getting lost in the trees. So there it is. The ego grows in a consciousness which confuses our eternal, spiritual identity with temporal forms both mental and material. The Course is interested in overcoming the ego rather than getting to know it and manage it so it brushes aside the temptation to "understand so as to get over" the ego. I know this strategy in relation to alcoholics and it leads to co- dependence rather than freedom. Understanding why the alcoholic drinks makes you an expert on insanity which then oddly keeps you in the grip of that insanity with the false comfort that you now understand what is making everyone miserable. With that in mind here is what the Course says:
"It is reasonable to ask how the mind could ever have made the ego. In fact, it is the best question you could ask. There is, however, no point in giving an answer in terms of the past because the past does not matter, and history would not exist if the same errors were not being made in the present." (T. Chap. 4, II., p. 56).
The Course is interested in how we keep the ego going rather than how we got it started. In fact it talks about the ego in the present or at least in the active mode:
"Everyone makes an ego or a self for himself, which is subject to enormous variation because of its instability. He also makes an ego for everyone he perceives, which is equally variable. Their interaction is a process that alters both, because they were not made by or with the Unalterable [God]." (T. p. 57).
"Your own state of mind is a good example of how the ego was made. When you threw knowledge away it is as if you never had it. This is so apparent that one need only recognize it to see that it does happen. If this occurs in the present, why is it surprising that it occurred in the past?" (T. p. 57). The Course, by teaching forgiveness, turns our perception to happiness which then makes us ready to turn back to knowledge. However, it must begin by having us teach ourselves that our perception is not knowing but perception and that that perception is the reason for our profound unhappiness:
"Undermining the ego’s thought system must be perceived as painful, even though this is anything but true. Babies scream in rage if you take away a knife or scissors, although they may well harm themselves if you do not. In this sense you are still a baby. You have no sense of real self-preservation, and are likely to decide that you need precisely what would hurt you most. Yet whether or not you recognize it now, you have agreed to cooperate in the effort to become both harmless and helpful, attributes that must go together. Your attitudes even toward this are necessarily conflicted, because all attitudes are ego-based. This will not last. Be patient a while and remember that the outcome is as certain as God." (T. pp. 57-58).
The ironies of our perceptual situation are even greater than this passage suggests. We spend most of our energies on developing, defending, and protecting the special selves which we have made. Sickness is a part of this, as is competition, judgment, attack and condemnation of both others and ourselves. The very thing that we are preserving is making us miserable. Yet to overcome our love affair with our special selves we must go at it indirectly for we have hidden the harm from ourselves and often from others. When we become both harmless and helpful the foolishness of the ego project will be more apparent to us. In fact, we already see the painful absurdity of the ego in many situations. We can all see that certain things that we thought were so important about doing or being, like always being right or always knowing the answer made us both harmful and unhelpful and, yes, miserable. Do you want to be right or happy? Would you rather control your life or have an adventure?
What follows are more quotes about the ego. See if they resonate with what you now as a teacher of God right-mindedly see to be the truth.
"Only those who have a real and lasting sense of abundance can be truly charitable."(T. p. 58).
"’Giving to get’ is an inescapable law of the ego, which always evaluates itself in relation to other egos. It is therefore continually preoccupied with the belief in scarcity that gave rise to it." (T. p. 58).
"The ego believes it is completely on its own, which is merely another way of describing how it thinks it originated. This is such a fearful state that it can only turn to other egos and try to unite with them in a feeble attempt at identification, or attack them in an equally feeble show of strength." (T. p. 58).
"The ego is the mind’s belief that it is completely on its own." (T. p. 58).
"The so called ‘battle for survival’ is only the ego’s struggle to preserve itself, and its interpretation of its own beginning."(T. p. 59).
"It cannot be emphasized too often that correcting perception is merely a temporary expedient. It is necessary only because misperception is a block to knowledge, while accurate perception is a steppingstone towards it. The whole value of right perception lies in the inevitable realization that all perception is unnecessary. This removes the block entirely. You may ask how this is possible as long as you appear to be living in this world. That is a reasonable question. You must be careful, however, that you really understand it. Who is the ‘you’ who are living in this world? Spirit is immortal, and immortality is a constant state. It is as true now as it ever was or ever will be, because it implies no change at all. It is not a continuum, nor is it understood by being compared to an opposite. Knowledge never involves comparisons. That is its main difference from everything else the mind can grasp." (T. pp. 59-60)
The above paragraph is the hope that keeps us patient as we learn right perception, seeing with the eyes of blessing, or seeing The Face of Christ in all the faces that we meet. St. Paul, an early and especially cantankerous teacher of God put it this way:
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abidith faith, hope, and charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." I Corinthians, 13: 11-13. King James Translation.
It occurs to me that this section from the text is a kind of gloss or Course in Miracles version of the passage from First Corinthians.
© Copyright Tom Baker 2009